Would you fall in love with Mr Grey? Review of Fifty Shades of Grey

My first post for 2014, I have been MIA. So much has happened in the last year and I am a little disappointed to return writing a post on the much raved about erotic fantasy, Fifty Shades of Grey by EL James.

Ever since the trailer for the movie came out mid-July 2014, I have seen a lot of friends on FaceBook liking and sharing posts telling the world how much they are looking to the release on Valentines Day 2015...how fitting! Although they are disappointed by the cast selection, I personally don't think this book deserved to be made into a movie.

Over the weekend, I read the book because I didn't want to miss out on anything. And boy, was I disappointed.

 

The purpose of this blog is really to channel my thoughts and to hear your opinions too. Please make sure you leave a comment below.

I feel as though EL James was trying to recreate the sexier adult version of Twilight (which was slightly better written). I am not sure if it was the quality of the writing or the repetitive script, but I was cringing and left very uncomfortable at the end of every chapter.

I kept reassuring Dineish not to worry about me finally meeting my sexual fantasy through a book. Which reminds me, I still need him to read some of the pages just for laughs!

 

As a married woman and maybe one who didn't experience many relationships, let-downs and heartbreaks during my earlier years, I was disappointed how the female character, Anastasia Steele, put herself out there so desperately to find her Prince Charming. She constantly finds herself in demoralising situations with a man who is no more interested in her than a sexual object. The "dominator-submissive" sexual encounters described in the book is something I have never experienced and I have realised how narrow-minded I am towards it. Like I said it has left me uncomfortable...

Essentially the story surrounds the fate of a 21-year old graduate stambling upon a young sex-crazed billionaire tycoon, Christian Grey. The book outlines, in my opinion, situations where a young naive girl experiences an awful relationship of how men and women should not be dating (unless you want nothing more than sex). The male character is plotted to be this mysterious business man, who buys everything for Anastasia in return for a 3 month contract whereby she is his exclusive submissive sex slave every weekend in his lavish home. I never knew such contracts could exist, and maybe it is driven by his business mind, however what confuses me is how it outlines that although he will never physically hurt Anastasia, the level of emotional and mental damage inflicted on her is unbearable. Its really no different to any physical damage he could do! I don't quite understand the point and I think this is what made me feel confused.

Mistakingly, she finds herself thinking after every encounter the relationship will blossom into the ideal love story. Christian makes it a point that although he is somewhat interested in her, he is not her type of guy. Finally towards the end, she realises her mistake: she cannot give into giving everything he wants, if he cannot give her the love and affection she is after, all becuase he had some screwed up abusive childhood, in the hands of his parents and some older women.

 

The reason I wanted to write this blog is because of the influence I feel it has on the reader, especially young women looking for some Mills & Boon love story. To think that it is being made into a movie which further visualises everything about is absurd. To me.

The book is fictional, but having read the reviews it has impacted the sexual lives of many women (young, old, married, whatever). I am not sure if its becuase of the success or becuase women can read a book in public and experience such intense satisfaction without having to sneak watching something else (hint hint). But hey, thats your preference and I am noone to judge.

As a woman, I don't want a book to further complicate young womens' struggles with their identity and relationships! It doesn't seem to build their self-esteem and is not a book that describes the perfect relationship. I feel so bad for  Anastasia and every girl thinking this is the go-to manual. It is far from the relationship you want anyone to have.

The way Christian refers to her as his property is derogatory. No girl should have to give into any relationship like that. It's downright disgusting, controlling and stupid. In a day and age, where we are working hard to building strong, confident and empowering women, this book seems to deter from that. To think that many women may already be struggling in an 'abusive' relationship similar to this, I feel this book tries to justify it by putting a romantic twist to it. Having said this though, I'm not saying its not ok to be in a "dominator-submissive" becuase if the feeling is mutual and there is respect towards one another on an emotional level there is no harm. The pleasure there is agreeable.
 

Although it is easy for me to say that when I have children (I'm 8 months pregnant with my first; a little boy), especially daughters, I would never allow them to read such filth, let alone lay their hands on a copy. But I'm sure my mother said the same thing and look at me.
I rather would encourage you to educate them and make them aware of the world that we live and the consequences of their choices. I hope that will only help them in choosing the right values and partners, who in return want a healthy, respectful, loving and caring relationship. There is love and true gentlemen who exist beyond this book who will treat you with the utmost respect.

I think I have said enought but all in all if you are looking for erotic fiction, go somewhere else. If you want a laugh or feel a little queezy, then by all means go ahead and waste a days worth of your life...and no you won't get it back!

xS

Finally meeting Actor Vijay :-)

If you know me long enough, you would know that I am a true Vijay Fan. All the way through intermediate, high school, uni and even today I don't fail to watch his movies. I remember watching Ninaithaen Vandhai (1998) and immediately being start struck :) He was cute and had a charming on screen personality. Over time Vijay has won the hearts of many Tamil fans around the world, and although he is a very shy person in life, he certainly doesn't show that in his acting.

Every time I have gone to India, I have tried my best to meet him, but as always he is away filming and even though I get close to meeting him (external factors have stopped me aka my mum). Finally on 5th April 2013 when I made an unplanned trip back to Sydney to see family, I found out that Vijay was there filming for his up coming movie, Thalaivaa. When I first heard about it, he had already starting shooting the weekend before my arrival and I thought surely the guy has left town by then, considering they rarely stay overseas filming for very long. I was so disappointed because there he was in my own backyard (and I was a few days too late)! But the day after I landed, my mother in law used her contacts (bless her!!) and found out that he was filming near the Sydney Convention Centre in Darling Harbour 9-5pm for 5 days!!! I was literally jumping up and down around her house :)

Straight after she finished up, I got changed and dragged Dineish out to Darling harbour (at 4pm) hoping to catch a glimpse of him before they wrapped up for the day. When we got there, it was not too crowded, maybe about 50 people and filming crew. I went and positioned myself opposite to Vijay's tent and watched/stalked him.

They were filming a dance routine with the back up dancers and Vijay only came out when the choreographer was happy to shoot. A few times Vijay noticed Dineish and I, and finally when I rucked up the courage to wave at him he smiled (that signature Vijay smile) and waved right back. Thats when the crew walked over and asked him if I could have a photo but his stupid PR said no :(

I think we were lucky to stand where we were that arvo. Because until about 5:30pm I was in very close proximity to where Vijay was filming and had the best view where he could see me (and how desperate I was to see him and take a photo).

After 5:30, the people from work and school started turning up and I was getting very anxious. The crowd suddenly grew and the chances of getting a photo was very slim! I knew he wouldn't take a photo with everyone and if I wasn't at the front it was unlucky. So close, yet so far.

Dineish and his brother (Dhilip), who came to share my excitement when to get drinks and I was left with 2 cameras to take photos with. Right at this point they finished shooting and the crowds ran towards Vijay. The crew told people to line up and my instinct was to do the opposite, I squeezed/pushed in line and tried to get my best to get as close to Vijay as possible. No way was I going to get this close and miss the opportunity. I got on the phone to Dineish who came running down and got ready to take a photo as there were only 2 little girls in front of me. I honestly thought we had it in the bag (excitement level was soaring and my heart was beating so fast!!!). He took about 10 photos with fans at this point and then OUT OF NO WHERE HE STOPPED AND STARTED WALKING AWAY!!

You don't know how I felt...I can't even explain it...even thinking about it now makes me panic for no reason, but its like winning the lottery only to find that there was a mistake in one of the numbers! You think you have it, but then you actually dont!

As he walked away, his security walk around him and Dineish told me to run behind him. Out of nowhere my confidence increased and I ran behind Vijay and shouted "Aiyo Vijay, orae oru photo please!". I am not sure why, but he stopped short of his tent walked back took a photo with me and left :) I was so lucky! Thanks to Dineish pushing me to run after him and maybe because I spoke in Tamil. Whatever it was I am so happy and can't stop looking at the photos :D

The few moments with him went buy super fast and all I think I said was thank you so much. One of the Aussie crew guys, also shouted out "Come on mate, this girl has been waiting around for you all day!". Even though that was a complete lie (and there were younger girls there who had been waiting out for a few days straight), I was so lucky to have had the opportunity to meet my favourite actor and childhood sweetheart/crush!

Here are some photos from his latest movie currently being shot in Sydney, Thalaivaa.

xS

(Vijay's no.1 fan)

Preserving Memories - Adoramapix photobook review

Dineish enjoys photography and recently made a photobook of our trip to India. After much research and reading reviews, he decided to go with Adoramapix to create our album.

Adoramapix is an online photo lab catered for not only the professional, but anyone regardless of their photographic expertise can create masterpieces. The image finish is of high quality and photobooks are made with Fuji Archive paper, not print. So not only is your album looking very stylish on the coffee table, but the images are amazing.

The cover was very thick and had a metallic sheen. 

 

The paper is of high quality. The pages were extremely thick and sturdy, and again had a nice sheen to them. There is a slight texture on the page, which can take away from the photo finish.
Some of the images were not edited to the best standard, so next time we would go back and correct and brighten before finalising.



As AdoramaPix uses real photo paper. You cannot see it here, but finger prints can be picked up on darker pages.



Spread

 

Page thickness

Crease down the middle of page and between a full page spread - image is not lost.

Photobook laying flat and spine.

Book dimensions: 10"x8", 14 pages
Software: Very easy to use. There is an option to either choose from their standard layouts or customise your own (as we did).

Paper quality: Archive paper in professional lustre finish, so these memories are forever! The pages were very thick and durable, and have a nice sheen finish (not glossy or matte). There is a slight texture, which take away from the sharpness of the image.

Print quality: Really good. I think next time I would invest a little more time in ensuring that the photos we use have been thoroughly edited to ensure that the finish is clean.
Cover quality: Very thick with a metallic sheen finish.
Prices: This book (without shipping) costs $32.95USD. Check their website for pricing, shipping, sales and delivery time (ours took a little over 2 weeks to arrive).
Overall thoughts: The book is perfect and I love flicking through the pages! Since making this album, we have bought both our families a copy to keep - it's a really great gift idea :)

Hopefully I will be making one very soon of our honeymoon!

xS