Would you fall in love with Mr Grey? Review of Fifty Shades of Grey

My first post for 2014, I have been MIA. So much has happened in the last year and I am a little disappointed to return writing a post on the much raved about erotic fantasy, Fifty Shades of Grey by EL James.

Ever since the trailer for the movie came out mid-July 2014, I have seen a lot of friends on FaceBook liking and sharing posts telling the world how much they are looking to the release on Valentines Day 2015...how fitting! Although they are disappointed by the cast selection, I personally don't think this book deserved to be made into a movie.

Over the weekend, I read the book because I didn't want to miss out on anything. And boy, was I disappointed.

 

The purpose of this blog is really to channel my thoughts and to hear your opinions too. Please make sure you leave a comment below.

I feel as though EL James was trying to recreate the sexier adult version of Twilight (which was slightly better written). I am not sure if it was the quality of the writing or the repetitive script, but I was cringing and left very uncomfortable at the end of every chapter.

I kept reassuring Dineish not to worry about me finally meeting my sexual fantasy through a book. Which reminds me, I still need him to read some of the pages just for laughs!

 

As a married woman and maybe one who didn't experience many relationships, let-downs and heartbreaks during my earlier years, I was disappointed how the female character, Anastasia Steele, put herself out there so desperately to find her Prince Charming. She constantly finds herself in demoralising situations with a man who is no more interested in her than a sexual object. The "dominator-submissive" sexual encounters described in the book is something I have never experienced and I have realised how narrow-minded I am towards it. Like I said it has left me uncomfortable...

Essentially the story surrounds the fate of a 21-year old graduate stambling upon a young sex-crazed billionaire tycoon, Christian Grey. The book outlines, in my opinion, situations where a young naive girl experiences an awful relationship of how men and women should not be dating (unless you want nothing more than sex). The male character is plotted to be this mysterious business man, who buys everything for Anastasia in return for a 3 month contract whereby she is his exclusive submissive sex slave every weekend in his lavish home. I never knew such contracts could exist, and maybe it is driven by his business mind, however what confuses me is how it outlines that although he will never physically hurt Anastasia, the level of emotional and mental damage inflicted on her is unbearable. Its really no different to any physical damage he could do! I don't quite understand the point and I think this is what made me feel confused.

Mistakingly, she finds herself thinking after every encounter the relationship will blossom into the ideal love story. Christian makes it a point that although he is somewhat interested in her, he is not her type of guy. Finally towards the end, she realises her mistake: she cannot give into giving everything he wants, if he cannot give her the love and affection she is after, all becuase he had some screwed up abusive childhood, in the hands of his parents and some older women.

 

The reason I wanted to write this blog is because of the influence I feel it has on the reader, especially young women looking for some Mills & Boon love story. To think that it is being made into a movie which further visualises everything about is absurd. To me.

The book is fictional, but having read the reviews it has impacted the sexual lives of many women (young, old, married, whatever). I am not sure if its becuase of the success or becuase women can read a book in public and experience such intense satisfaction without having to sneak watching something else (hint hint). But hey, thats your preference and I am noone to judge.

As a woman, I don't want a book to further complicate young womens' struggles with their identity and relationships! It doesn't seem to build their self-esteem and is not a book that describes the perfect relationship. I feel so bad for  Anastasia and every girl thinking this is the go-to manual. It is far from the relationship you want anyone to have.

The way Christian refers to her as his property is derogatory. No girl should have to give into any relationship like that. It's downright disgusting, controlling and stupid. In a day and age, where we are working hard to building strong, confident and empowering women, this book seems to deter from that. To think that many women may already be struggling in an 'abusive' relationship similar to this, I feel this book tries to justify it by putting a romantic twist to it. Having said this though, I'm not saying its not ok to be in a "dominator-submissive" becuase if the feeling is mutual and there is respect towards one another on an emotional level there is no harm. The pleasure there is agreeable.
 

Although it is easy for me to say that when I have children (I'm 8 months pregnant with my first; a little boy), especially daughters, I would never allow them to read such filth, let alone lay their hands on a copy. But I'm sure my mother said the same thing and look at me.
I rather would encourage you to educate them and make them aware of the world that we live and the consequences of their choices. I hope that will only help them in choosing the right values and partners, who in return want a healthy, respectful, loving and caring relationship. There is love and true gentlemen who exist beyond this book who will treat you with the utmost respect.

I think I have said enought but all in all if you are looking for erotic fiction, go somewhere else. If you want a laugh or feel a little queezy, then by all means go ahead and waste a days worth of your life...and no you won't get it back!

xS